Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
