Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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