What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
