I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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