The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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