I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
