is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It all started with a game of naked twister.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
