I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize