Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
