Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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