Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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