last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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