gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize