Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
