Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
