I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
