i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
