in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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