Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
