covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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