We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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