There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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