He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
