kristin has been a bad kristin
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
