she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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