Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
