Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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