Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
