wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
