sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
