I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
