so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
