she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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