you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
