i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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