Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
