Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize