I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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