Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
