I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
