Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
