omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
