Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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