New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You made out with two different species that night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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