I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
