That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
