Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
