I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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