bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
