Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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