i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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