I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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