Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize