I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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