shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize