the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
