hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize