You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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