i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
