My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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