I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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