OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Houston, we have a blender
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
