First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
