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She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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