people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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