You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
