Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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