Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
