So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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