I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
