my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
