Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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