i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
No stitches, just platelets and will power
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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