i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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